Ruthra Lubegs

My name Ruthra lubegs 35 years old and 7 years of living with HIV . I’m a transgender man from Africa Uganda is my country. This is my story , I was born in kampala Uganda in a small village called Bwaise . I’m the fist born in our family of 3 among the siblings and the only one who grew up when my gender identity is different from other. I was disowned by my family members because of my gender identity at the age of 15 years, I grew up on streets of kampala. in the year 2015 I met this particular lady who fell head over heels in love with me, she was older than me . I felt that I was luck if not blessed to meet a mature person who understands me and accepted me because of my gender identity , I felt like we had a connection . After 3 days she come and pick me up , took me to her house and we started living our love life . She made some many promises and showered me with cray love. I felt that the heavens had smiled on me . She promised to take me back to school , get me , good job and create a little heaven for me down here . I had no boubt that the love was real . Having come from a very humble back ground of which I’m proud of I innocently gave this love affair my all . I got lost in the nwe world of love and affection. I ma’am …. What more would I ask for ? I had everything that I needed. After living with her for almost an year , I noticed she was taking some medication. But I was so green and naive gave it much thought. I once asked her and she told me that they were body booster but I didn’t ask what they were used to boost we lived like a normal couple with the ups and downs of being in love affair . we would fight , break and make up …… Just like people in love not once did I ever think or imagine that my sweet lover would be living with HIV virus . Like how would she be positive with all the meat and the beauty, how? RECURRENT illness. As day went by , she stated getting I’ll quite often , she would be in and out of hospital . There was this particular time when she got really sick and she got hospitalized for quite a remarkable period of time . I took care of her I was with her through it all . I would bather her , washhe clothes , cook for the feed her . I was a perfect husband 28 years . Then she got well and went back home from hospital . THE TEST when she got home from hospital something told me to go get a HIV test . It was random check up……. and guess what I turned positive for HIV As I was going through the post test counselling which I feel there is a gap that needs to be filled, I don’t know if it was the shock or something but I felt I didn’t get enough, I was given two options, either to start my medication as aearly as possible or wait to die. I remember that there was this particular time when my lover would give me septrin ( these are antibiotics mostly used to fight opportunistic infections) I I went straight home and I confronted her. It was really bad , we had a serious fight. My life took a completeturn around nothing used to make sense . I felt the weight of the entire would on my shoulders. I started cursing God like how could he allow a 28 year old be infected I couldn’t think . I felt tired useless . I hated my life , I went through a phase of self hate and self rejection . I watched my whole life go down the drain and there was nothing I could do . There was no hope . … After alot of fight vwith my lover I decided to go back to streets were I used to stay. I innocently told my friend about my status , I expected him to be my shield like be fore but ,may be help me over come this or may be understands and give me moral support which never happened . My friend Isaac was really hard on me he would call me names and he made my life very difficult . This friend hated me I swear but he is still my friend . Jay mulucha came around and he would support me in all manner . No matter how hard he was affected by my situation . God bless jay mulucha , Isaac disappointed me he used to me aids victim (he still doesn’t till date) I went in to it all that I had . After all life didn’t make any sense and I was looking for an easy way to die . I had reached the end of my road. I also wanted to revenge and infect others the way, I was infected…… I went on a revenge spree I wanted to infects as many people as possible MY TWO CENT ADVICE.living with HIV is not easy an it’s not hard . It almost depends with an individual with the current developments. It’s actually very possible to live a normal sex life even with the HIV virus all you have to do is Adhere to medication and ensure undetectable viral load . This is done by eating a balanced diet , taking medication on time a voiding stress by all means . Adherence is the key to health life with HIV . Reading this you can’t stop feeling the pain in his heart . Rejection by his would be supported